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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sfc Ollie View Post
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    As I understand it they may be easy, but not cheap..........

  2. #12
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    Our First Woman POTUS...
    The year is 2024 and the United States has just elected the first woman as President of the United States.
    A few days after the election, the president-elect calls her father in Daytona Beach and asks, "So, Dad, I assume you will be coming to my inauguration?
    "I don't think so. It's a long drive; your mom isn't as young as she used to be, we'll have the dog with us, and my arthritis is acting up in my knee."
    "Don't worry about it, Dad, I'll send Air Force One or another support aircraft to pick you up and take you home, and a limousine will pick you up at your door," she said.
    "I don't know. Everybody will be so fancy. What would your mother wear?"
    "Oh, Dad," she replied, "I'll make sure she has a wonderful gown custom-made by one of the best designers in New York."
    "Honey," Dad complained, "You know we can't eat those rich foods you and your friends like to eat."
    The President-elect responded, "Don't worry, Dad. The entire affair is going to be handled by the best caterer in D.C. And I'll ensure your meals are salt-free. Dad, I really want you to come."
    So her parents reluctantly agreed, and on January 20, 2024 arrived to see their daughter sworn in as President of the United States.
    The parents of the new President are seated in the front row. The President's dad sees that a Senator is sitting next to him and leans over and whispers, "You see that woman up there with her hand on the Bible, becoming President of the United States?"
    The Senator whispered in reply, "Yes, sir, I sure do."
    Dad leans back, arms folded, and says proudly: "Her sister is an Army Sergeant First Class.
    If Zombies are chasing us, I'm tripping you.

  3. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Sfc Ollie For This Useful Post:

    DiveCon (09-29-2019), miketx (09-29-2019)

  4. #13
    Hero Member
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    theliq (10-16-2019)

  6. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sfc Ollie View Post
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    A Harley Biker is riding by the zoo in Washington , DC when he sees a little girl leaning into the lion's cage. Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the collar of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to slaughter her, under the eyes of her screaming parents.

    The biker jumps off his Harley, runs to the cage and hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch.

    Whimpering from the pain the lion jumps back letting go of the girl, and the biker brings her to her terrified parents, who thank him endlessly. A reporter has watched the whole event.

    The reporter addressing the Harley rider says, 'Sir, this was the most gallant and brave thing I've seen a man do in my whole life.'

    The Harley rider replies, 'Why, it was nothing, really, the lion was behind bars. I just saw this little kid in danger and acted as I felt right.'

    The reporter says, 'Well, I'll make sure this won't go unnoticed. I'm a journalist, you know, and tomorrow's paper will have this story on the front page... So, what do you do for a living and what political affiliation do you have?'

    The biker replies, I'm a U.S. Marine and a Republican!

    The journalist leaves.

    The following morning the biker buys the paper to see if it indeed brings news of his actions, and reads, on the front page:


    U.S. MARINE ASSAULTS AFRICAN IMMIGRANT AND STEALS HIS LUNCH!
    Many a true word,Ollie...Outstanding...steve

  7. #15
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    I was sitting in an Airport Lounge in Texas with an American friend (BIG DONALD FAN),when we heard that President Trump was arriving


    I told my mate a big white lie "That I had known Donald for years"


    As by chance Donald and his possee happened to linger close by and my friend pleaded that I introduce Donald to him...I said wait there


    I went over to Donald and explained my delema!!!He said you Aussies are such Jokers,what's your name,and I'll be over


    A few minutes later,true to his word Donald walked over and said "Hi Steve,how's Jan and the kids" I replied:-

    -$@! Off Trump,can't you see I'm busy


    Well maybe not so funny,you can always substitute Hillary Clinton for The Don

    steven

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    Sfc Ollie (10-16-2019)

  9. #16
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    If Zombies are chasing us, I'm tripping you.

  10. #17
    Not Just a Member........
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    So, this baby seal walks into a club.........
    Je suis Brady

  11. #18
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    angel

    Nice Avie Pic Ollie,what is the kinders name?...steve

  12. #19
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    Stella Mae, Better known as Little Princess...
    If Zombies are chasing us, I'm tripping you.

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    theliq (10-19-2019)

  14. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by fjwjr View Post
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    So, this baby seal walks into a club.........
    OOOOUUUUUUCCCCCCCCHHHHHH

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